Just What I Needed

The "Free WiFi" policy at Starbucks has really opened the flood gates to the bizarro world. It was already pretty freaky at my local coffee shop, but now, boy oh boy oh. The place is starting to resemble the one by my brothers apartment in Manhattan. You know? The one with the three locks on the bathroom and the armed guard. If I'm gonna feel like I'm in the big city, at least give me the tall buildings and the street vendors. Now I merely get the creepy stare and the B.O. I know you can't eject paying customers that are just nuts, but the guy talking to himself and pacing in circles with head of a My Little Pony in one hand and crossword from the 60's in the other who just goes straight to the bathroom...come on. You gotta pay to play. And so now we got people on their computers nursing a cup for 4 hours PLUS Ringling Brothers! Since I am addicted to the ritual, I am totally screwed. I am bad enough with a caffeine buzz but throw in claustrophobia too...look out!